Better times
by Animecrazy180
Summary: This is a short fanfiction about Guts and Casca(but mostly about Guts.) It has some violence so be warned! :)


Guts woke up in sweat, a silent scream on his lips. He grabbed his head with his hands. It felt weird. He looked at them. They were normal, he wriggled all his ten fingers, it felt even weirder. Guts raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Nothing a few hours practicing with his sword wouldn't fix. But as Guts lied back down he noticed two things. The first was that he was keeping his right eye shut tight. He slowly unclenched the muscles around his eye as the eyelid rolled up.

The second thing he noticed was that he was not alone. It was unclear to him how with his honed battle instincts he did not notice immediately upon waking up. Next to him, in the same bed was another person. He reached for his sword, always next to him. He felt his hand grab the familiar and worn down grip. His other hand reached for the person covered by a blanket next to him. He thought of Donovan as his fingers clutched the sword with his knuckles becoming white. Guts wanted to kill Donovan. He wanted to smell his insides as he opened the bastard from groin to throat. But after pulling the blanket his hand let go of the sword and he felt stupid.

Her dark and slender figure, the beautiful eyes which reminded him so of earth kissed by spring rains, now hidden under her closed eyelids. Strands of black straw-like hair covered her face. On court they would laugh at that hair but Guts loved smelling and fondling it, and besides, he never agreed with those aristo-pricks on anything anyways. Those small lips, which when curled into a smile made a smile dance on his lips too. Her dark, perky breasts with the nipples erect against the cool night air. Her long, toned and slender legs which were a contract to his own bulky scarred ones. He remembered how he first felt that body against his as he woke up in an unknown tent, wounded, without any weapon. He almost jumped out of his skin from fear then but now he wanted to feel her naked for against his own. He snuggled close and gave out a deep sigh of satisfaction. It felt good, being able to do that.

Casca muttered something under her breath, it sounded very similar to a curse. She squirmed around a little before Guts saw one eye open. Casca looked at him.

"Guts? Is something wrong? You have something in your eye." she said to him in a soft whisper.

His hand found something wet in his eye. Shrugging it off he looked at her once again. Guts was never fond for romantic nor was he ever a poet but he regretted it now. He wanted to compose a ballad to describe how beautiful Casca was. Hell, even ten ballads would not have been enough.

"Casca… I love you… you know that, don't you?" he asked. His hand cupped her face.

She propped herself on one arm and took his hand into her own. "I know. Guts, you're acting weird, is everything alright?"

He nodded and moved in to kiss her. His lips touched hers, gently, very gently as if Guts was afraid he would hurt her. Her lips felt so warn against his own, the warmth spreading out through his entire body. Her tongue asked for access. Guts happily obliged. Her hands wrapped about his thick, muscular neck and his hand was around her hip, pressing her body further into his as if they were going to merge. It might have been hours or seconds before they pulled apart but Guts wanted to grin. The kiss made his heart race as much as his most exciting battle. He didn't know why he felt like that but he was just happy he did. They didn't talk after that, they just looked at each other, his hands around her and her hands around him. His heart in her hands and her in his. Sleep came creeping up on them.

"Captain Guts! It's time to get up!" a familiar voice called up from just behind his tent flap. Guts sighed, planted a kiss on Casca and lightly elbowed her for her to wake up. She did after a few seconds and some grumbling. Guts enjoyed watching her walk fully exposed to the discarded pile of clothes in one corner of the tent. Then he too had to get up.

As he exited he saw Gaston waiting for him along with some other Raiders whose names he could not remember. They told Guts that he promised he would train with them. Guts laughed and got to it. He crossed swords with every Raider willing but the whole time his sword felt weird. It was like it was light. It still weighted 7 kilograms but Guts felt like it was a twig in his arm.

After spending an unknown amount of time practicing Guts was free and he decided to go to his tent first. On the way there he was stopped by Rickert and Pippin who dragged him off to somewhere. Guts could not recall where they took him or why but he was glad to see them. After a while of walking they seated him on a log among a group of people who were talking and laughing. Guts could smell wine.

Before he could say anything Judeau came to him, clapped him on the back and praised Guts for something he could not remember doing. As Judeau left Guts could hear a faint grumbling beyond the laughter.

" _Probably Corkus._ _"_ Guts smiled a little. Then before he could protest Casca sat next to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. It was unusual for her to act like this in front of the men but he did not object. Guts was handed a wine skin and he drank, laughing at the crude jokes of his comrades and brothers-in-arms.

" _Everything is perfect."_ But as Guts was drinking he thought he saw a big black dog in the corner of his eye.

Before he knew it Guts found himself in his tent again with Casca on top of him, riding him, her breasts bouncing up and down when Guts was not fondling them. But just then a dark, skeletal hawk- like thing appeared above then and as Guts grabbed his sword the dark hawk grabbed Casca who began screaming. Guts lifted his sword and went for a swing being extremely careful so as to not harm Casca. But before his sword came close to the hawk Guts was pinned to the ground by something heavy which jumped on his back. Guts screamed at the top of his lungs. Curses, threats and everything in between while the hawk watched. The sizzling hot red eyes stared into Guts' own. Guts wanted with every fiber of his being to rip that hawk into a thousand pieces by his own bare hands. He wanted to kill him even if he had to fight with only teeth. Guts was snarling and cursing so much that he did not know he could. Then he lost vision in his right eye and screamed. He could not see with his right eye and he could feel something move where his eye was a few seconds ago. Guts' vision went red and hazy but he kept looking at the hawk as he tried to get out from under the thing that was on his back. Guts raised one hand towards Casca who was crying and to the hawk who had a cruel smile on his lips which made Guts want to punch his teeth out. Then Guts hand got cut off by a sword. Guts screamed again but not from pain but from anger. Then he awoke.

Guts had a silent scream on his lips. He clutched his head with his hands. Only one of flesh and blood, the other of cold steel. He looked around and he saw he was in a cabin. He was alone. No one was there. Casca was not there. He quickly got up and went to search for her. After frantically searching quite a few cabins he finally found her. She was with Farnese. Guts slammed the door opened and frightened both women. He calmed down a little when he saw Casca was alright but tears came to his eyes when he remembered the dream. This was not Casca. Just an empty shell of his lover. He approached her but she slowly retreated towards Farnese like a frightened animal. Guts sighed, he could not even touch her. It was so frustrating. He wanted to smash something, he wanted to kill demons. But deep down he knew what he wanted above almost all else. He wanted to kill Griffith. Not just kill him. He wanted to slaughter him, butcher him like an animal, cut him to pieces, make him pay for all the things the bastard has done, all that with the biggest fucking possible grin on his face. Guts didn't pursue Griffith right now for only one reason. Yet she feared him like he was a demon. Well, he is one but he never wanted to hurt her. He would give his other arm to get Casca back, his Casca back. They were traveling to Elfhelm though, there he could get the old Casca back.

Guts looked at Farnese and then back at Casca who averted her eyes as if his eyes would kill her. He left the two and got to the deck. The sailors there conveniently had better things to do than be there when he got up. The moon was there but it was impossible to see it behind the clouds.

He so wanted Casca back. She was one of the few things keeping him sane. If not for her the Beast would have probably have taken over.

But Guts was not that stupid. He knew that there was a high chance that the Elf King with a difficult to pronounce name could not be able to cure Casca. And Guts feared what would happen when she was cured. The things that happened to her…. The thing that Griffith did to her…. She became like this to suppress those memories but now Guts was bringing her sanity back, and along with her sanity so was he bringing back those memories. He feared how she would react. Would she break down all over again, would she hate Guts, would she kill herself? Guts knew there was no going back, the Golden Age of the Band of the Hawk was long over.

Guts knew just one thing. Casca was a fighter, maybe not like him but she was a fighter. He had to hope she would overcome those things. He would be there for her and try and help her. He was not with her for two years, when she needed him he was quenching his bloodlust, not being there for her. Instead leaving her in that cave with Rickard. Guts put all those things off his mind for now though, he first had to reach Elfhelm, then he had time to worry. So Guts laid on the planking of the ship as the waves rocked the ship back and forth. There was a light breeze which felt good against his still hurting skin and also against his ears which were still recovering. He hoped no dreams would come to him. He had no use for dreams. But before Guts fell asleep he thought he saw a black mass up on the mast.

 **A/N: I REALLY(like really, really) like Berserk and for a long time I had wanted to write a fanfic about it but I didn't know what to write, how to come close to the perfection called Berserk. Until yesterday when I got in the mood for something like this. I wrote it in anticipation of the next chapter. Hope you liked it! If you did or did not, either way, please leave a review so I can improve my writing, for both me and you! :) Also, you probably noticed that I cannot stand Griffith? Well, yeah, I hate the bastard with a burning passion. Cheers! ;)**


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